Am I some sort of diety?

Maybe my purpose here has finally become clear. Today Maggie, Caring and the Blob were all excited about some upcoming event. Blog went downstairs and made 50 trips up with boxes of stuff for something they call Halloween. Inside each of the boxes were several odd items, including skeletons, ugly women with funny hats, what looked like sheets with eyeballs, and several black cats that looked like me, including one that screamed bloody murder everytime you pressed his paw. When I climbed up on a shelf to get a better view, Caring laughed and said, "Looks like we have another decoration this year!"

I saw blob inflating a gigantic version of me with an equally large fruit in the yard. It's obvious that this is some sort of religious ritual and I'm the centerpiece. Am I their God? And if I am, couldn't they find something better to feed me than these brown pellets they keep putting in my bowl? Where does Jax fit in to all of this? Is he one of my disciples?

I believe it's all coming together. Perhaps I can escape this dungeon by writing a message to Caring that she should release me and go sacrifice Blob in front of the giant Samantha out in the yard. I'll try it and see what happens. Until next time... Purrfect Dreams and May Your Litter Always Be Scooped!

Get them some Cat Lax

Everyone in the house appears to have a hairball. They're coughing and hacking, but nothing's coming up. It's not hard to see Blob with a hairball, given his general furryness and the stuff falling off his head, but I don't understand Maggie and Caring.

They also all keep taking what I have to guess are illegal substances. Both Caring and Rob kept taking foil packages of HUGE pills and dropped them in water. They bubbled like some sort of caldron of acid. Then they drank them down, with disgusted looks on their faces.

I thought it was medicine, but they both kept coughing. I have to assume its some method they use to get high, because I often see them zoned out after they take it, watching the big silver window like zombies.

I'm thinking of giving them some laxitives during the night. If it doesn't clear up their hairballs, it will at least be fun to watch.

Where is PETA when you need them.

Blob and Caring have been talking about how vocal I've been recently and how cute it is that I've been picking up one of the dresses Maggie has for her army of clones they call Barbie. Blob laughed at me as I carried the dress through the house. "Why do you want this one!?!?!" he said.

Look at it you fat sack of hamster droppings! It's fur lined. FUR IS MURDER! I've spent the whole day looking for a can of red paint I can throw on the stupid thing or dump on Blob's head. Since Maggie is young, I'm guessing she doesn't know better.

So I'll keep grabbing the dress and keep yelling at them. Maybe one day they'll pay attention.